Nothing Worthwhile

"Jam Bands" and Illicit Drugs

2008-04-27T11:38:00.000-07:00

With my recording software currently malfunctioning, my own efforts to create musical fusion are on hold. So I've been writing a lot lately and damned if I haven't found myself listening to "jam band" tracks to sample extended bass lines. This got me thinking about jam bands and the people who claim to love them.

I hasten to add that I've never really liked jam bands. The notable exceptions, bands I've always liked very much, are (of course) The Grateful Dead, The Black Crowes and, more recently, The Word which features two of my favorite artists: Luther Dickinson of NMA and 13-String Pedal Steelist, Robert Randolph, who I believe is super-human.

To me, jam bands were all filler and no killer. I've always considered myself a blues guitarist and always preferred a 2-minute, 12-bar Son House diddy about low-down women and the effects of drinking smoke-stack lightening to a 17-minute arrangement of brightly-colored jazz chords by the likes of Rusted Root, Dispatch or (the dreaded) Phish talking about...well I never really knew what they were talking about. Ben and Jerry's, some place in Vermont with really green grass?

I'm not saying these bands aren't talented, but to me they've always seemed like a cheap rip from ICONS like Grateful Dead and the Allman Brothers' Band. There is a difference between being influenced and being an imitator, America. I remember listening to Garcia's "Old and in the Way" with my dad when I was in grade school, so don't tell me I don't know what I'm talking about, Wendy.

I'd never paid much attention to this sort of music. My parent's were too busy making sure I appreciated Steve Winwood and Steely Dan. So, when I arrived for my freshman year of college with a CD case full of Clapton, Hendrix, The Rolling Stones, and The Doors; I was automatically shunned by the cool crowd in my dorm for liking lame music. What? What to you mean Hendrix is too heavy? He's brilliant! I was gobsmacked.

So, I did what any insecure freshman does, smoked a joint, tried to fit in, and tried listening to Blues Traveler. When I became violently ill, I assumed it was the THC. Once I got straight, I listened to some Phish and discovered that it wasn't the contraband...it was THE band because this time I came down with a mild case of scurvy.

A buddy on my hall (who now writes for a living) was a huge DMB fan, and tried in vain to get me to listen to Everyday with him and I just wasn't that blown away. So we drank a few beers and listened to something we could agree on: Springstein's "The Rising." That was right before we knocked over Danny's beeramid, Jeff. I simply wasn't getting this obsession with jazz-fusion that was now "jam" music.

It seemed like any girl I would talk to about music said she liked the same bands: The Grateful Dead, Dave Matthews' Band (who, ironically, HATE being called a "jam band"), Pat McGee, Dispatch, and Blues Traveler. They ALL said the same thing.

I became very suspicious. It was at this point, I did some detective work: I had a few people hanging out in my room one night and I put on a cassette (NOT a CD) of some Winterland 1973 stuff that one of my first babysitters had given to me. I played it and I waited. And (completely validating my musical snobbishness) one of the so-called, hardcore GD, hemp-wearing, fan-girls asked: "Who is this? Its keeeeewwwwllll." AHA! It all became clear to me at that very moment. These little punks didn't like The Dead...they probably had no idea who Pigpen or Mountain Girl was/is (respectively), they claimed to like these bands because it was the cool thing to like.

Now I certainly know a few people who legitimately like and listen to My Morning Jacket, The String Cheese Incident, or Disco Biscuits. But shame on those who liked/still like it because its the cool college-hippie-pseudo liberal thing to do.

You people are no worse than the suburban white kid trying to be Lil Wayne. The only difference is you don't rock Fubu, you chill in birkenstocks and $90 polo shirts made to look like they cost $5. Shame on you...we've figured you out and we're coming to burn your house down with three-chord, over-driven power riffs from Jack White and vocals from Mick Jagger that will make you crap your corduroys.

Long live rock n' roll.

Matt

p.s.
Matty 305 and The Two-Timers are officially recording. Get pumped America.

Sigh of Sorrow

2008-04-25T20:52:00.000-07:00

Hi. I know, its been months. BUT I have a few excuses (thanks to those of you that asked where I'd been)

Excuse #1 I've been writing creatively more and have therefore been putting poems, songs, etc. on the other blog.

Excuse #2 Everything is crap in the entertainment world right now and I don't want to use words like "ass-sucking garbage" and upset my younger readers, or Shannon anyway.

Here's the thing, here is the fucking thing: I can barely turn on my tv anymore without the overwhelming urge to hurt people and small woodland animals. Its turned into COMPLETE garbage across the board. Most notorious? MTV.

Used to be, the way you found out about new bands was: you watched MTV. People say there aren't any good bands like Nirvana anymore. Well, there'll never be another Nirvana, but there is plenty of good stuff out there. You'd never know though because MTV is too busy following the exploits of over-sexed, over-tanned, over-served, under-fed, and over-spoiled American Eagle robots 24 hours a day with cameras.

Do you remember when you could count on videos all day long? Headbanger's ball, Yo MTV Raps, Unplugged and music video after music video until Cindy Crawford's House of Fashion came on. Glorious I tell you. The only "shows" MTV had back then (1990-1999 RIP) were good too. The State, Beavis and Butthead, hell even The Real World had substance back then!

Of course, the paradox is that, well, maybe music was better then and it was worth showing videos by Nirvana, NIN, Alice in Chains, Wu Tang, and Beck. I simply remember the constant talk going something like: "Did you see that new Live video? I'm going out and buying that album." Now its probably something like: "Hey, Tyler, I was watching The Hills last night and that really skinny girl, no the other one, was listening to the new Usher on her iPod. I'm so gonna download that right after I shave my chest and hit up Starbuck's." For shame.

The saddest part is...its gone forever. The minute Dan screwed Melissa and that other chick in the shower on Real World: Miami, I knew it was over.

ON DVD: If you don't already, please go get The Beyond special edition. For God's sake, its probably the best zombie gore fest in the history of Italian zombie gore fests ever. And that's quite a tough market to corner. Its one of Lucio Fulci's trilogy, complete with a (very) young Catriona MacColl, and pre-staff infection David Warbeck.

Music: Black Crowes (with Luther Dickinson on slide) is hot. Shelby Lynne's newest, still hot. Steve Winwood has a new album coming out. Should be hot.

And now, Paris Hilton with our weather: "Its Hot."

I'm back. So be careful, listen and watch wisely. Don't go see Good Luck Chuck type movies (Dane Cook should be strapped to a rocket and shot into the sun), go see Diary of the Dead or No Country for Old Men type movies. You may learn something...like, what good movies look like and that nickel-plated shotguns with silencers are the coolest form of weaponry known to man.

I won't make it such a long time next time.

Guitar Geeks

2008-01-25T11:43:00.000-08:00

Hi All. I apologize for the long absence (I actually got e-mails asking when the next article was coming...so eff you, I have readers) but I took a break for the holidays (all of them) and have been extra busy with the job search. Which is looking up. But I digress.

My friend Paul, who is a phenomenal guitar player asked me (in an angry way) why the only person I talk about is Clapton...why don't I talk about Jimi??? My pal maintains, and he's correct, that as far as skill and creativity, there is Hendrix, then everyone else. So I decided to write a little informative piece on Hendrix, his sound and how YOU TOO can sound like Jimi. This bit took me a little while to put together...I read lots of tab and listened to Electric Ladyland and Are You Experienced several times each day while job hunting. Here goes:

First thing: You need to realize that Jimi was one of the first (not THE first) to uses feedback, distortion, etc. as part of his sound. Most musicians found this type of sound undesirable.

How to sound like Jimi:
Note: some of this stuff is basic...but not all my readers are familiar with electric guitars

1. KNOW your guitar.
If you have a strat, know what each pickup (treble, bass, and bridge) sounds like. Most all strats have a 5-way pickup switch that allows you to alternate between which pickup (or combination thereof) that you'll use. Try not to think of the pickups as "bass" or "treble." Think of them as dark or light colors if you will. I say this because Electric Ladyland sounds like the colors on the album cover...whoa man. Jimi used the tremolo arm (whammy bar) in conjunction with his effects pedals to create a unique sound. More about effects pedals:

2. Jimi used 4 main effects pedals.
A. Wah-wah pedal - emphasizes bass notes when you toe back (for rhythm playing) or treble
notes when you toe up (for soloing)
B. Fuzz Face pedal - is an extreme distortion pedal that, you guessed it, distorts the sound
by creating an overdriven effect (like your amp is too loud) and creates a fuzzy sound.
C. Octavia pedal - While common now, these were especially made for Jimi in the 1960s. This
effect pedal takes notes you play and projects them thru the amp at a higher octave (that
is, eight notes higher than the note you play on your guitar) allowing you to hit higher notes
than the fret board will allow.
D. Univibe Pedal - its a modulation effect pedal that produces a pulsating sound. The best way
to clearly hear this effect is Jimi's performance of the National Anthem at Woodstock. This pedal, along with liberal use of the whammy bar, creates his famous British Siren sound.

3. Jimi used simple chord voicings.
Meaning, he used 2 or 3 note chords and would often fret the low E string with his thumb,
leaving his pinky free to add sharp notes. Listen to The Wind Cries Mary to get an idea.

A MAJOR exception to this is Jimi's favorite chord (often called the Jimi Hendrix chord): E7#9.
The chord is actually, very simple:
1 - E is the root,
2- G# the third,
3- B the fifth,
4- D the flattened 7th (normally this would be a D# in the E-major scale but just trust me here),
5- then we add #9...9 notes up from E on the scale which is F#. Since we're adding a sharp 9, it technically becomes a double sharp F (Fx) or (drum roll) G. SO NOW, you have G and G# in the same chord, giving you a nice clash of major and minor tones.

Here's a diagram of the chord http://www.guitarconsultant.com/chords-e7s9.html
the third pattern is the one Jimi most used.

4. Jimi was a master of r&B and rock rhythm
Jimi was very accomplished in r&b rhythm guitar (think Curtis Mayfield and Ike Turner) and rock rhythm. The difference is the r&b rhythm is lighter (more treble) notes versus rock (more bass) heavier notes.

Those are some of my observations on Jimi. I hope all you guitar geeks enjoyed it...I know I did.

Until next time.

Thank You

2007-11-12T20:12:00.000-08:00

I like to keep things relatively lite on my blog. Later this week, I'll be back with the usual music, movies, sports, off-color jokes, pop-culture references, etc.

Today though, I just want to say a big THANK YOU from the very bottom of my heart to all of our country's veterans, living or deceased. I know that my readers are all over the political spectrum and regardless of what you may think of the current war in Iraq, I urge you to thank any vet you may know for serving our country.

On holidays such as today, I believe that we should forget whether we are Republicans or Democrats, and instead try to remember that we are all Americans: free citizens of the greatest country in the world.

I hope all my readers can agree, regardless of our own politics, that we owe all of our vets a debt of gratitude. Keep in mind that when you celebrate Veteran's Day, you're not only honoring those living or those who you may know. You're honoring vets who have long since passed on, who served our country and protected the rights of family members and strangers that they would never meet.

Moving away from Main Street

2007-11-04T14:57:00.000-08:00

Let me give you a quick scenario: If you feel nauseous whenever you see a commercial for American Idol (or any other Get Famous Fast reality show) and you want to kick in the teeth of all your coworkers and friends who loyaly watch the show, don't despair. You're not a freak. You're a music fan who appreciates actual music.

If you're anything like me - number 1, I feel sorry for YOU - you just want to know where all the artists have gone. Furthermore, you'd rather shower at San Quentin then be subjected to the mainstream crap that MTV (in conjunction with Rolling Stone) force-feeds us daily. Not to say that all mainstream music is bad, there are some great mainstream artists out there. Take John Mayer for example. On the surface, he appears to be just another American-Eagle wearing, Starbucks drinking sissy that Jann Wenner (editor-in-chief for RS) wants you to have on your iPod. But if you listen to his albums (notice I said ALBUMS not SINGLES) you'll find that Mayer, aside from being a modern day Guitar God, is an actual artist. My contention of Mayer's "artist" status was recently confirmed in an interview he gave to - of all publications - Rolling Stone. In the brief interview, he stated that music fans today are: "a 'skip forward' generation...Artists spend a lot of time choosing the order of their songs...its an album, not a Choose Your Own Adventure Book." After this slight against singles-downloaders, Mayer went on to say that the music industry needs to develop talent and abandon the "throw it against the window and see if it sticks mentality."

If you didn't like John before, I'll bet you do now. In keeping with Mayer's idea of developing talent, I thought I'd take the time to point out some artists that you may not have heard of, but are (and have been) out there making great music. And, believe it or not, Myspace is a useful tool when seeking out good, lesser-known artists. And you thought Myspace was only good for drunken titty-slips and child molestors.

You'll find that a lot of these lesser-knowns have plenty of talent, but are what I like to call "fall-betweens." They don't really fit into one genre and are hard for major record labels to market because, like it or not, its still all about radio play. If you're too rock for country or too folky for rock, you're doomed to continue making great music that MTV will be unaware of for all eternity...Maybe that isn't so bad after all....

Check out:

Shooter Jennings and The .357s - are gaining a little more noteriety after 2 great albums and a recently released third (a little bit more country) album that features a cover of Dire Straits' "Walk of Life." (rock/southern rock/country)

http://www.myspace.com/shooterjennings

Shelby Lynne - won a Best New Artist Grammy in 2001 (despite having been around for 15 years prior) and has been more or less out of the mainstream spotlight since, save a cameo as Johnny Cash's mother in Walk The Line and "Killing Kind" being featured on the Bridgett Jones soundtrack. Shelby is a soulful solo act who reminds us of a less poppy Sheryl Crow. Her lyrics and voice are tremendous and she has a Dusty Springfield cover album hitting stores in February.

http://www.myspace.com/shelbylynne

Ryan Bingham - is straight out of Austin, TX dishing out some really killer country/roots/americana music. I've heard his newest album, Mescalito and I'd compare him to a talented Gary Allan...who can play well...and writes his own music. OK, he's not that much like Gary Allan. check it out.

http://www.myspace.com/ryanbingham

Grace Potter & The Nocturnals - are a brilliant rock band out of Vermont. They list The Band, JJ Cale, Led Zeppelin, and everything in between as their influences. Check out their newest album: This Is Somewhere. You won't be disappointed because these kids from the Live Free or Die State (oh, that's New Hampshire but really...what's the difference?) bring it smooth and rock hard. They're currently touring with Gov't Mule.

http://www.myspace.com/gracepotterandthenocturnals

North Twin - is an alt. rock/country-influenced group out of Seattle, WA. Their influences range from Elvis Costello to Johnny Cash. Check 'em out. I recently had a listen to Falling Apart - their newest album - and its the type of music that makes you wish that you were listening live, knocking back a few cold ones while these guys rock out.

http://www.myspace.com/northtwin

Deadstring Brothers - are a blues/rock band out of good 'ol Detroit, MI. Their newest album, "Silver Mountain" rocks and rocks HARD. David McPherson from American Songwriter quips that: "It's a shame more people don't know about this kick-ass band." Be sure to give "Sacred Heart" a listen if you visit them on myspace, its a tight track from their previous album: "Starving Winter Report."

http://www.myspace.com/deadstringbrothers

Also check out these groups:

Girl Nobody - to release your inner Suicide Girl when mom and dad won't let you get that Prince Albert. http://www.myspace.com/girlnobody

Ezra Furman & The Harpoons - will make you laugh and groove extra hard after ingesting an eigth of mushrooms. http://www.myspace.com/ezrafurman

A lot of these choices aren't for everyone. I just wanted to point you all in a good direction to hear some bands you might not have heard otherwise. The White Stripes rock, but its always good to hear some tunes you won't catch every single time you jump into the car or turn on the radio.

Feel free to e-mail me or respond to this blog if you want some recommendations or want to recommend something you think I should hear.

***** A VERY BIG p.s.

If you think I'm totally in the wrong here and you believe MTV is where its at, maybe you should hang out with this guy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kHmvkRoEowc

"LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE!" *******

Responses

2007-11-04T09:15:00.000-08:00

You know what's good about today? At least the Dolphins can't lose...its their bye week. If there was a way to come out of a bye with a loss, I'm sure they'd figure it out. The Heat are 0-2 and the Canes can't trust their backup QB to put the ball in the air. What a time to be from South Florida. At least, we may get A-Rod b/c Cabrera is out of there faster than a white woman in the first lifeboat on the Titanic.

Normally, I write on Tuesdays - and I still plan to come out with a new one this Tuesday - but I wanted to write a little something to respond to some of the responses.

Tony brought up Running Down A Dream - Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers. I'm a huge fan of music DVDs and I picked this one up the day it came out. I'm glad Tony brought it up because for one: its an excellent DVD. Two, it makes me think about a bigger discussion point: who is the "best American band ever?" When people talk about great bands, the usual suspects are always The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, Led Zeppelin, etc. Those, of course, are all British bands. But what about the USA, man?? We invented rock and roll!!!

My roommate consistently argues that Aerosmith should be considered the best American band of all time. Certainly the Eagles should be up there. But...as Jefferey Lebowski said: "I hate the fuckin' Eagles, man." For my $, the Eagles just don't have the longevity of an Aerosmith (1971-1980 and 1994-present and 1970-present, respectively), but if we're going to talk about longevity, consistency, and creativity; The Heartbreakers definitely deserve to be in the argument, and frankly, get my vote as America's #1 band.

The DVD chronicles the formation of the band (as Mudcrutch) in Jacksonville, Fl to their growth as an American institution. I agree with Tony: music fans need to check this one out. Like all great musicians, Tom Petty is staunchly anti-commercial. At several points throughout his career, Petty fought the music industry (once insisting that his label lower the price of his album so kids could afford it) and has firmly entrenched himself as an artist first. Even if you're not a fan of The Heartbreakers', check out this DVD. It truly gives the viewer an appreciation for how difficult it is for bands to remain together and remain creative over 3 decades of a rapidly changing landscape.

The Devil's Rejects

My other response is again to Tony, as well as Nichole and a few others who questioned me as to why The Devil's Rejects wasn't on my list of top 5 horror movies.

I'll begin by saying that I like Rob Zombie. A lot. He's intelligent and a great student of the horror genre...something that's apparent if you've ever seen any of his music videos with White Zombie or as a solo act. I wasn't a huge fan of House of 1000 Corpses because the movie didn't have much of an identity. Not the case with The Devil's Rejects.

Rejects has a grainy, almost spaghetti-western look to it, reminiscent of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. The cast is perfect. Its full of great character actors like Sid Haig, Danny Trejo, Michael Berryman, Ken Foree (the original Dawn of the Dead) and E.G. Daily (ya know, she's the voice of the Rugrat's Tommy Pickles). The sets are fantastic and the violence isn't at all over-the-top: its just plain disturbing. Example A: Motel Room scene - possibly the most threatening and menacing scene on film.

I love the movie. BUT...the reason I don't see it as a top 5 is simple. I see it as more of an homage to its predecessors than an original piece. NOT TO SAY, I don't think this is an original movie. In a world of remakes, this is as original as it gets. I think the film is terrific, but part of me feels like the movie draws a little too much on its influences, and simply pushes the envelope from there.

Example: The look of the film, the Firefly house and the idea of a whacko Texas family grabbing up unsuspecting teenagers and torturing the bejesus out of them reminds me a little too much of TTCM. I'm gonna test you here: the scene in the motel, though terrifying, reminds me of an old Wes Craven movie about, you guessed it, three deranged sociopaths on the run who come across unsuspecting victims and...torture the bejesus out of them. Check out Last House on the Left. While I wouldn't say Reject's is a take-off, watch House and tell me that the motel room scene in it doesn't remind you of Rejects.

I'm not bagging Rejects. I love the movie and I give it 4 stars easily. As I said...it draws a little too heavily on influences for me to put it in my top 5. That's not to say it isn't number 5.5.

Thanks for reading and I'll talk to you Tuesday.

"Disco just aint right." - Tom Petty

Music, Movies, and a Few Obligatory Jokes About Amy Winehouse, Union Carbide, and My College Experience

2007-10-30T23:16:00.000-07:00

Lots to discuss:

Today, someone asked me if I was going trick-or-treating. Two things: first, I'd rather let Bijou Phillips drive me home from a vodka party in a Miata. Secondly, if you're over the age of 12 and you don't have kids: give it a rest. Teenagers should be experimenting with alcohol, awkwardly flirting with and groping one other, not walking around looking for candy. I'm telling you, kids, get your practice in now so that when college rolls around you'll be a pro at awkwardly flirting with and groping members of the opposite sex...and you'll be able to hold your liquor. Plus, if you're like me, you'll also be a pro at handling female rejection when you try to awkwardly flirt with and grope members of the opposite sex. Consequently, I also became an expert at beating Super Mario Bros. in less than 90 minutes while listening to Houses of the Holy, stoned out of my mind on low-grade marijuana. I do miss living in my fraternity house...

Where was I? Oh yeah! Music and movies you should check out. In the writing field, we call that a transitional sentence...a smooth one at that.

I'll start by saying that I haven't checked out any "new" music this week. My Dad, a terrific guitar player with a knowledge of music that would make Jann Wenner retreat into his shitty Manhattan loft apartment, has put me on to some different stuff. At his urging to "expand my horizons," he suggested that I move away from rock for a little while and check out some Chet Atkins, Charlie Byrd, and Doc Watkins. This stuff is mostly jazz, blues, and bluegrass so I'll spare you rockers with my in-depth analysis. I bring this up because my father's suggestion made me realize the true musical difference between our generations.

My Dad turned 60 in August and has been a music fan his whole life. His collection is immense - he has Willie Nelson's Stardust on vinyl for Christ's sake - and as a guitar player, he's always been fascinated with artists who were good enough to move from genre to genre, like a hero we both share, Eric Clapton. The point I'm getting at is that my generation has largely been exposed to a narrow range of genre's: rock, rap, and r&b. Of course, these all spawned mini-genre's such as grunge rock, alt. rock, southern rap, gangsta rap, etc. But what we often forget is that, throughout the lives of my generation, rock and roll has always been there. Not so for people of my Dad's generation.

People of his generation witnessed the fusion of blues, jazz, and gospel by trailblazing artists like Elvis, Jerry Lee Lewis and Johnny Cash; something that didn't happen until the 1950s. The result of this fusion was rock and roll. While his generation has witnessed the long evolution of rock, they also never lost track of rock's true influences. This, in my opinion, qualifies older music fans as having a wider range of musical taste than our own and, perhaps, a better appreciation for a genre that we all love and think of as "our" music.

Then again, you'll get no argument from me that there was simply better music and more talented musicians in the 50s and 60s then they are today.

ANYHOW...

Here are some movies that I've seen/re-watched you may want to check out as well as some that you should try to avoid. Avoid them like you would a razor-wielding Amy Winehouse at a flop house.

Bug - starring Ashley (the cute sister) Judd. Not at all what you think it'd be, but the acting is top notch from the entire cast. Even Harry Connick Jr. sells it as abusive, criminal, Oklahoma trash.

High Tension - avoid this one. Biggest cop-out, bullshit ending in the history of the horror genre

Planet Terror - not the same great experience I had in the theatre, but still funny, over-the-top and worth a watch.

Until next week...I'll pick you up a souvenir from the Mystery Art exhibit.

Comeback Kids Fantasy Football record:
5-2 (long story...but basically Clinton Portis got shut down like a Union Carbide booth at a Calcutta job fair)

Top Guitarists and Why I can Never Watch Porn Again

2007-10-25T11:00:00.000-07:00

Job searching takes up the large bulk of my time. And by large bulk, I mean almost all of it. When I'm not searching, sending resumes, or talking on the phone with people about jobs, I either play guitar or read. Since my fingers can only take so many nightly hours, in the past week I've read two books - both autobiographies - and each one set me to thinking.

The first one I read - purely for trashy entertainment - was Jenna Jameson's autobiography: How to Make Love Like a Porn Star, A Cautionary Tale. I'll tell you a few things about this book:

No Surprise: Its filthy
No Surprise: Its depressing
No Surprise: Jenna has had led a very difficult and tortured life, battling lots of personal demons
BIG Surprise: Jenna Jameson isn't as dumb as you think she is.

People (myself included) don't approve of her lifestyle at all. However, this book is very interesting in two ways. On one side, you read about the tragedy that is her personal life. At one point I found myself saying: Come on! Give this girl a break! The overall depressing aspect is that the reader knows know in his/her heart - although she tries to end the book on an upbeat note - that she'll never conquer her inner demons, and will never have a normal personal life.

On the other hand, the reader - no matter who you are - has to give some credit to her business sense. In a seedy, sexploitation industry where most girls are dried out, addicted and broke by the time they are 25, Jenna Jameson still pulls in roughly $30 million a year...and she's been retired from film making since 2001. Sure, she learned her business sense while dancing at the Crazy Horse II in Vegas, but give the lady some credit: rather than being dogged out, she turned her name into a brand and is the most recognizable adult actress in history. While I wouldn't suggest it to Oprah's Book Club, I'd say give it a read. Some parts are definitely a little too much and a little too over the top, but the overall picture it paints is a very interesting character study of a girl who is laughing all the way to the bank.

The Second biography I read was the newly released autobiography by Eric Clapton. In my opinion, Clapton is the greatest guitarist of all time. By reading his biography, we're offered an excellent look at how seriously he has always taken music and you get an idea of who he likes and dislikes as an artist. Did you know that for a long time he thought Bob Dylan was a weirdo? Did you know that Bob Dylan is still a weirdo? Did you know that he's a sellout for doing Victoria's Secret commercials? What was I saying? Anyhow, reading as Clapton talks about the 60s and 70s - unmatchable decades of music - I tried to think of who, today, we can count as some of the top guitarists out there. Here is my list and your feedback, as always, is appreciated.

I will caution you that this is NOT an all-time list. So don't freak when you don't see Jimi Hendrix, Duane Allman, Jeff Beck, or Jimmy Page.

1. Eric Clapton - still the best after all these years. He has been the centerpiece of some of the most talented bands of all-time. Clapton is a true blues guitarist and he still gets his sound with minimal equipment, foregoing 90 pedals at his feet, bars, etc. His sound comes from the most gifted hands to ever pick up a guitar. He admittedly says that he's lost much of his speed, but at 62, he's still the best. Oh yeah...he can't read music either.

2. Derek Trucks - fronts The Derek Trucks Band and takes the place of dearly departed Duane Allman when the Allman Brothers tour these days. At 28, he's got a sound that no one can touch. He played lead guitar for Clapton during his Crossroads Tour and, like all the best guitarists, is strongly rooted in the blues. And like Duane, he's a master on the slide.

3. John Frusciante - lead guitarist for the Red Hot Chili Peppers. Their albums clearly suffered during the periods when Frusciante was not with the band, battling a heroin addiction for 5 years. When he returned in 1997, the RHCPs cut Californication, By The Way, and Stadium Arcadium. All terrific and highly successful albums. If Trucks is the new Allman, Frusciante is our generation's Jimmy Page.

4. Luther Dickinson - is the lead guitarist for the North Mississippi All Stars. He's got hands of fire and if you haven't heard a good blues guitar album in a while, pick up the NMAs and check out this blues pickin'. Dickinson, son of Memphis Record Producer Jim Dickinson, can only be compared to Stevie Ray Vaughan. He's a master of the fret board and his impromptu solos provide a sound that fits right in with the Masters of the Delta.

5. Leroy Powell - was until very recently, the lead guitarist for the 357.s He recently left the band to pursue a solo career and currently plays for Gina Gershon's project. (That reminds me, I need to watch Bound again) He's a terrific mix of rock, country (he can play pedal steel), blues and what some might call psychedelic rock. He really defies comparison, because he is a master of several styles. He's a brilliant song writer to boot.

Honorable Mention: Jack White (The White Stripes), Dan Tyminski (Union Station), and John Mayer.

Weekend of the Living Dead

2007-10-21T22:00:00.001-07:00

Q: What happens when a hoard of feral-looking yet surprisingly well-dressed vampires crash a town that stays totally dark for thirty days?

A: The same thing that happens when the most prolific passing attack the NFL has ever seen faces a Dolphins secondary that, in all honesty, couldn't start for the LSU Tigers: carnage.

Such is life in Barrow, Alaska (and Miami, FL) where asthmatic local sheriff, Josh Harnett tries to outwit a band of ancient vampires - who speak a subtitled ancient vampire language which I suspect to be either Gaelic, Ancient Vampire, or a regional Mexican dialect - so that he and a small group of survivors can stay alive until the sun comes up again...in 30 days. This isn't your typical vampire movie...its unique in several ways: first of all, the protagonists stand no chance of fighting back and figure this out very early on at the cost of roughly 100 lives and an entire team of sled dogs. This in and of itself makes the theme survival, rather than a typical war on the undead. Furthermore, these vampires don't exactly look like Brad Pitt in Interview With The Vampire. In fact, they look a lot more like Seal with a blood-stained lapel.

I STRONGLY urge you to check this one out...the setting, Barrow, Alaska (an actual Alaskan town that actually does experience a month or so of total darkness) was enough to creep me out from the get-go. The eerie silence of survivors trying to remain quiet so as not to attract unwanted blood-draining is frequently broken by the shrieking howls of a most unsavory group of undead freaks. Not a 4-star effort, but ABSOLUTELY worth seeing. Also, check out Ben Foster (Alpha Dog, 3:10 To Yuma) continue to creep us out and forever solidify himself as a character actor.

Otherwise, there isn't a lot going on this week. The job search continues, the Canes gutted one out against FSU on Saturday - thanks to a brilliant fake FG and a brilliant, ballsy fourth quarter altogether - and won a very physical ball game to raise their record to 5-3. Hey, we knew it was gonna be a 3-4 loss season...give Randy time.

There is other good stuff on the horizon - hopefully a high-paying job is among them - this week. Shooter Jennings has a third album coming out. Those who know me know that I think this is the best rock act around these days, and I urge you to check out this 3rd effort, hitting stores this week. Enjoy the brilliance of Leroy's guitar, because he recently left the band, taking a lot of the magic with him. Dwight has a Buck Owen's tribute album coming out, and rock continues its slow death with nothing else at all dropping this week. Looks like The White Stripes' Icky Thump will have to stay in the changer another week or so.

Take care, check out the movie and God bless. As for me, I'm just waiting for a zombie attack so I can kick some ass.

Parting Shots:

Another Reason for So. Fla sports fans to stay away from revolvers and Scotch:
http://www.miamiherald.com/591/story/271186.html

Fantasy Football Record for The Comeback Kids: 5-1.

Welcome!

2007-10-19T23:08:00.000-07:00

Welcome to my first blog. Yeah...I said blog.

I needed a spot to share with you my writing and damned if this aint the perfect medium. In my limited spare time, I enjoy writing and playing guitar (two things which I've done for many years) and why not jump on the bandwagon and be a blogger? I plan to keep it lite. Don't expect my thoughts poured out across cyberspace. This isn't a magnum opus (I said opus), or the start of some sort of bildungsroman (look it up). I plan to talk about books, music and movies I like, sports teams I hate (love), etc. Enjoy! Or don't...its free.

Because I love movies - and because I take all genres seriously - I thought it'd be appropriate for my first entry to be a top 5 list of horror movies, suitable for Halloween viewing. I'm going for movies I find scary, because to me, scary equals entertaining. Unless we're talking an 0-6, soon to be 0-7 Miami Dolphins record. There is no entertainment in that sort of horror. Well...maybe some.

5 Movies to make your Halloween a tad bit Spookier...Yeah, I said "spooky."

5. The Descent
I love this movie. There haven't been too many recent horror movies that actually scare you. This movie has frightening, make you jump moments to be sure, but - like all good horror films in my opinion - the subject matter makes you uncomfortable. Its very uncomfortable to watch the characters battle the confined environment of a deep, unmapped cave system. The cinematography is brilliant and certain shots are bound to make you squirm and turn even the worlds biggest hard ass (me...just kidding) into a claustrophobe.

4. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (the original)
Its hard to shock American audiences nowadays, regardless of how over-the-top the violence is. This movie is campy, and it has cheesy (by today's standards) special effects, but come on! Its a classic! And who doesn't fear running afoul of maniacal, cannibalistic, chainsaw-brandishing freaks while on a road trip? If you don't, you should, goddammit.

3. Silent Hill
I know, I know. Its a movie based on a video game. HOWEVER, if you haven't checked this one out, you need to. Like The Descent, it has its definite make-you-jump moments. But the real gem here is the brilliant sets. The town, reminiscent of Centralia, PA (look it up) is gorgeously eerie. The story gets a little bit convoluted, but the path to the truth will literally make your skin crawl. Watch this movie and you'll fear air sirens for the rest of your days. If you don't already.

2. 28 Days Later
What can I say? I love the zombie genre. However, what makes a special zombie film, are zombie films with political messages. See: Dawn of the Dead (the original) and Romero's Land of the Dead. This one is a giant, scary, political metaphor. The movie is brilliant and contains probably the creepiest scene in zombie-movie history: Cillian Murphy walking the abandoned streets of London, passing by "Missing Person" posters with no one left to read them.

1. The Exorcist (remastered version)
Still, for my money, (which aint too much these days) it doesn't get any scarier. Again, you have two very (til this day!) taboo subjects: the defilement of Christianity and brutality towards a child. The subject matter is very uncomfortable and the scares and creeps are limitless in this classic. I suggest the remastered version for the simple fact that there are a few add-ons that "horror-it-up" a little bit more. Ex. You can see the famous "spider-walk" scene and a few head shots of that nasty demon that won't let poor Linda Blair enjoy obscurity in peace.

I hope you'll take me up on at least one or two of these suggestions...and moreover, I hope you read entry #2.